


I Like Pizza

by IantoMcKay



Series: NYC is bullshit but that’s alright because life goes on [1]
Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: BROWN BEAR, Bad Fic, Crack Fic, M/M, Milk, Milkman - Freeform, Please Don't Hate Me, this is extremely cursed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 08:05:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13829976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IantoMcKay/pseuds/IantoMcKay
Summary: Kevin and Connor must find The Milkman™





	I Like Pizza

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Penstrokes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penstrokes/gifts), [monneygrabber46](https://archiveofourown.org/users/monneygrabber46/gifts), [asgayasfalsettos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asgayasfalsettos/gifts), [lesbianmezzo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianmezzo/gifts), [PitsOfDisclaire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitsOfDisclaire/gifts), [51potatoes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/51potatoes/gifts).



> I'm sorry...

Kevin and Connor were at the park. they were having a lot of fun! YAY! they were drinking water and NOT soda, because soda is BAD for u!! Also they were playing football (DON’T CALL IT SOCCER! *i’m looking at you america*)  
Connor was the goalkeeper and Kevin was the Kicking The Ball Man™  
Kevin kicked the ball at 2x the speed of sound and it hit Connor in the head.  
Connor thought he had gone dead but he had NOT because Connor has a very thicc skull just like a really heavy door.  
Kevin screamed because he thought he had deaded Connor to death.  
“OMG CONNOR ARE YOU OKAY?” said Kevin in a very manly voice?  
“Yes i just need some milk” said Connor (because milk is very good for your bones)  
“Okay then let’s go to The Milkman™ and get some milk” said Kevin.  
They took their pink blanket they had brought with them to the park and vent to find The Milkman™.  
“Yo Connor where’s The Milkman™” said Kevin like a tree.  
“OMG Kevin I don’t know! I really need my milk because if i don’t get my milk I’ll die of milklessness” said Connor like himself (because Connor doesn’t like sounding like a tree)  
“Okay let’s find somebody to ask” said Kevin still talking like a tree.  
They found an old man sitting on a chair on top of a table.  
“Hey old man! do you know where The Milkman™ is” Kevin said not sounding like tree anymore because he didn’t want the old man to think he was weird.  
Suddenly out of nowhere a wild brown bear appeared which was really weird because they were in Central Park and brown bears doesn’t normally roam the park freely.  
Kevin screamed like a pinecone and hid behind a chair (the old man thought that was weird because WHO THE FUCK SCREAMS LIKE A PINECONE!?)  
Connor was brave and called out “BROWN BEAR BROWN BEAR WHAT DO YOU SEE!”  
The brown bear stopped what it was doing and screamed like a thousand burning suns “EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Meanwhile the old man had snuck up behind the bear and BOOOOOOOOM! The old man dropkicked the bear in the head and it died.  
Connor was really happy because the bear was dead and danced the Highland Dance.  
After he was done dancing he asked the old man where The Milkman™ was.  
The old man said that The Milkman™ lived on the big ass mountain in Brooklyn (that totally exists OKAY!!)  
So Kevin and Connor hiked for 4 days and 2 nights before reaching the top mount Brooklyn.  
They found The Milkman™ and Connor said “can i please have some milk for my milklessness “  
The Milkman™ said yes but he wanted something in return.  
“I want a hair from your eyebrow” said The Milkman™  
Connor gave The Milkman™ a hair from his eyebrow and the milkman put the hair on his back and TADAAAAAAAAAA! The hair turned into wings and Connor was like “HOLY FUCK MY EYEBROW HAIR GIVES YOU WINGS”  
Kevin only did confusion and sneezed out a butterfly which only did him more confusion.  
The Milkman™ threw a bottle at Connor’s head and it smashed against his thicc skull and Connor was cured of his milklessness!  
The Milkman™ flew home to his milk wife and milk children in his milk county (the milk children and milk wife did not have ™ in their names)  
Connor and Kevin lived the rest of the live in peace free of milklessness and started a fund for Milklessness Awareness

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Again... I'm sorry


End file.
